A strange topic for today, but it's been milling around in the back of my head. I went out to eat last night, and as I got ready to pay the bill, I had to make sure that I had enough cash to leave a tip. That got me to thinking about the tip. Y'know, it would be okay if the tip were a bonus that I am leaving for the waiter or waitress for a job well done. It occurs to me that the wait staff gets paid less than minimum wage, and that I'm expected to pick up the rest. That doesn't really seem fair does it?!? That's a lot of pressure for me! Now I have to decide just how good a job this person did, and how much I'm going to pay them. I understand the whole "incentive to be a good waiter or waitress" concept, but hey, shouldn't they get a bonus for doing great service?!? As it is they can get paid two or three bucks below minimum wage, and if I leave them a two or three dollar tip, I'm not really rewarding them for doing a great job, I'm just getting them up to minimum wage level! And how much to leave? Oh, this is a never ending debate in my brain. Fifteen percent? No, that doesn't look like enough, I'll leave another couple of dollars. DOH! Now that's too much, they weren't that good! I'll just take a dollar of that back. DOH! Now it doesn't look like enough, they weren't that bad! And no matter what I leave, I always feel guilty that I didn't leave enough.

So if you wait a table on me, I promise I have put way too much thought into how much tip I leave you. If you think it's too little, I'm sorry, I'm not too good with math. If you think it's too much, maybe it's finally a little bonus for you!  ¶ 4/17/2003

  Let me address something that is a constant source of irritation for me in my everyday life - Walmart. People love Walmart. People defend Walmart like it's their best friend. But Walmart's not your best friend... oh no. It's quite the opposite. Walmart doesn't care about you. You know you're going to shop at Walmart, and what's worse, Walmart knows you're going to shop at Walmart, so why should they care about you? After all, you're going to shop there anyway aren't you?

Have you been to one of the misnamed "Super" Walmarts? It's like a city in there. I'm convinced there are people living in tents in the Sporting Goods section. Their plan is to come into a town and try their very best to run everyone else in town out of business, and they do that by offering everything under the dang sun in one of those "Super" Walmarts. Clothes, electronics, food, eyes, hair, bakery, gas, tires... it goes on and on. Have you gone into one of these "Super" Walmarts and tried to find one specific small item? It's like going to Europe and trying to find one specific person. It's about that easy.

Back when Walmart was first moving across the country, they were a great store. They sold it, and if something went wrong, you could take it back to them. They would exchange it or give you your money back. Have you tried to return something to a Walmart lately? Even with a receipt they look at you as if you're a criminal. "Oh we KNOW you're trying to pull something over on us. We don't know what it is, but we're sure you're dishonest and trying to cheat us out of a dollar!" And that's probably the biggest problem with Walmart now - they don't trust me. To them I'm guilty of something.

Let me share my favorite example. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and my mother had just bought an old surplus computer from work. She wanted to give it to friend of hers who didn't have a computer so the friend could do basic web surfing and e-mail. Since I'm the resident "computer expert," she asked me if I'd take a look at it. First problem, NO POWER CORD! She had forgotten to get the power cord, so she signed one of her checks and sent me off to town to get one from Walmart. (I'm sure many of you can see already where this story is going, but stick with me.) I found a power cord in the electronics section that would work, and went to one of the only open lanes. (Notice, Walmart has 25 checkout lanes, but only three open at any given time.) The cashier rings it up - $9.06. I write "9.06" on one line and "Nine Dollars and 06/100's" on the other line and handed it to the clerk. She looks at the check and says "I need to see your license please." Okay. After studying it intently the cashier says "umm, the name on the check doesn't match the name on the license." "No, it's my mother's check, she signed it." "Well, I'm going to have to call a CSM over" (a Customer Service Manager). Now let me say that I had $10 in my pocket (really I did), but at this point, I've boarded the train, I might as well see where it's going to go. So we wait silently for five minutes for the CSM. Her lane light flashes, going unnoticed by any CSM, and the people in the line behind me start to shuffle uncomfortably as I am now holding up their busy schedules. Finally, the CSM notices the light and comes over. Surveying the situation she asks me, "is the phone number on this check correct? I'm going to have to call and verify this." OH NO, I've been caught. That's right, this my big crime of the century... steal my mother's check book and forge her name to buy a power cord for NINE DOLLARS AND SIX CENTS! Let me assure you of one thing, if I'm going to pull a job, it's not going to be a nine dollar power cord! At this point I've about had it, so I just tell the CSM, "forget it, give me the check back." I give the cashier a ten dollar bill, take the power cord, and curse all the way through the parking lot. And I'm sure the CSM spent the rest of the day telling everyone how she helped foil a crime that day, when all she really did was make me want to go somewhere else... ANYWHERE ELSE... and buy it next time, even if I have to pay more for it.

And that's what I am doing. I am protesting Walmart with my wallet. Whatever I buy, I may pay a little more for it, but for some reason I don't feel nearly as dirty after buying it when I don't buy it from Walmart.  ¶ 4/11/2003